Elizabeth "Betsy" Rayner Cox

Betsy Cox lived her life with love and gratitude so that even when Alzheimer’s entered in, through a positive approach to her care, she continued to find and spread joy every day. Betsy died Thursday, July 9th at the age of 83, still loved, loving, and grateful.

Elizabeth Ann Rayner was born to John and Helen Bess Rayner during a spring Chicago blizzard 13 April 1943; she was their only child. Barely two years later, Helen Bess died of tuberculosis. War years made housing, employment, and childcare difficult, so Betsy and her dad moved into a cramped 2-bedroom garage apartment in Chicago’s Hyde Park with closest friends, Clark & Mary-jane Snyder and their two young daughters. “We’ll figure it out,” they collectively decided. In 1947, the combined family moved to Wilmette where two more Snyder daughters were added to the mix. The five girls considered themselves sisters in every way and enjoyed the eclectic collection of parents, cousins, multiple grandparents, aunts and uncles from all sources.

Betsy excelled at ballet, toe, and tap dance, and became an accomplished pianist. She loved being a Girl Scout and sang in the choir at St. Augustine’s Episcopal Church. Most of all, she loved playing outside, ice skating, raking leaves, making snow angels, walking to the beach to swim, and riding her bike everywhere.

Betsy’s dad eventually remarried and the Rayners moved to Mt. Prospect where she attended the new Prospect High School, became active in sports, cheerleading, dance, elected Prom Queen, and was first-ever recipient of the Senior Girls Athletic Award.

Married shortly after graduation and moved to Evansville, Indiana, Betsy became a secretary at Atlas Van Lines. The marriage lasted eight years; they had no children.

In 1978, Betsy married her boss, Edward Cox, an executive for Atlas.

A company change for Edward took them to Florida, and Betsy again worked for “her boss.” With a talent for organization and a keen sense for detail, Betsy became manager of the off-site record storage division of United Van Lines.

In Florida, Betsy made legions of friends, endearing herself to entire families, celebrating life events, their children’s activities, and treated as one of their own. She continued her love of sports, attended theater performances, concerts, and lunch-groups with friends. She and Edward were passionate boaters and became active in a very close-knit group of supportive friends at Halifax River Yacht Club which was central to their lives until Edward’s Parkinson’s Disease put an end to the boating—but not to the friendships.

Two weeks following Edward’s death in January 2020, Betsy received a confirmed diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, and sisters, Kevan and Corkey, became Betsy’s over-seers of comfort and joy. Betsy moved back to the Chicago area where happy childhood memories would provide opportunities for joyful recollection. She reconnected with St. Augustine’s where she was embraced and loved unconditionally.

Even in dementia, Betsy remained charming, friendly, social, gracious, generous, funny and nurturing. She was still uncannily observant, very tactile, and the epitome of a “connecting extrovert.” In her long-term communities, she endeared herself to care-partners, nurses, housekeeping and food service staff, as well as fellow-neighbors and their families.

Gifted pillars in Betsy’s support system were exercise specialist Arthur King; dementia education & engagement consultant Suzanne Johnson, and fun-maker extraordinaire, Sunshine Graves all of whom enriched her life with their expertise, and devoted much love.

Betsy is survived by her sisters, Lindsay (Jim) Cantoni, Sun Lakes, AZ; Nadine Baldwin, Portland, ME; Kevan Snyder, Atlanta, GA; Courtnay (Larry) Waite, Onalaska, WI; step-daughter, Bibi (Brian) Cox, Copenhagen, Denmark; goddaughter and niece, Colleen (David) Whiting and her children; nieces Kara Cantoni and Rebecca (Art) Cacayuran and their children; nephews Brian (Lauren) Cantoni and their children, and Alexander (Laura) Waite.

A celebration of Betsy’s extraordinary life will be held on Saturday, July 25, 2026 at St. Augustine’s Episcopal Church, 1140 Wilmette Ave, Wilmette, IL at 10am with inurnment in St. Augustine’s Columbarium, followed by light reception.  The service will be live streamed.  A link to the live stream will be available by the day of the service and will be published here.  Please check back at that time.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be directed in Betsy's memory to Snow Approach Foundation (the Teepa Snow/Positive Approach to Care folks), 129 East King Street, Hillsborough, North Carolina 27278, or St. Augustine's Episcopal Church.